One of the biggest causes of long-term suffering is guilt. I’ve noticed this in so many of the women that I’ve worked with.
Women are so often carrying long-held and deep-seated guilt from things that happened a long time ago.
So I want to give you a tip that can really help to let go of guilt that you’re holding on to that causes so much suffering.
Imagine that one of your very best friends comes to you and tells you that she is struggling and suffering because she cannot forgive herself for something that happened a long time ago. Imagine that it was to do with her parenting because this is a really common one – mother guilt.
Imagine that years ago she was doing the best she could but as a result of some mistakes that she made, she is blaming herself for some ways in which her child’s life has turned out. And she’s in so much pain and suffering, and she believes that she doesn’t deserve to be happy.
How would you respond to your friend? What would you think? What would you tell them?
Of course you wouldn’t say “You should have been perfect. You shouldn’t have made those mistakes. You deserve to be punished. You don’t deserve to be happy.” Instead, if you were really listening to your heart and being really compassionate and honest with her, you would say, “You were doing the best you could. It’s okay to let it go now. You’re not meant to be perfect. Nobody’s perfect.”
So why can’t you do this for yourself? Why do we have a skewed view when we’re thinking of our own selves and our own story?
It’s time to move on. It’s time to show compassion to yourself. Let it go.
Another thing, if you are feeling guilty for some way that you acted because you think that it’s your fault that something has turned out a certain way for another person, you are in their business. And every time we get in other people’s business, we suffer. So when you are holding on to this guilt, you’ve got to get out of their business and get back in your business.
We are not meant to have a challenge-free life. Sometimes we forget that it’s through the biggest challenges and the biggest struggles in life that we have our biggest growth. Let people have their journey. Step out of their business.
I struggled with guilt for many years over my parenting. But when really got it, I was able to accept that even my children need to have the challenges that they needed to have. And I cannot see the bigger picture, but I trust that the imperfect ways that I was being was all part of a bigger picture that I can’t see.
Trust that you can’t see the bigger picture. Everybody makes mistakes, it is part of what we’re meant to be as a human. We do the best we can for where we’re at. Get out of taking responsibility for other people’s journey and other people’s business.
Let it go and forgive yourself in the same way that you would if your best friend was standing in front of you saying that she was in so much pain because she couldn’t let go of guilt. And give that forgiveness and compassion to yourself.
I’d love to hear from you! Have you held on to guilt? Could it be time to let it go? Leave a comment below!
Know someone who might benefit from this? Please feel free to share the love!
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