One of the biggest causes of long-term suffering is guilt. I’ve noticed this in so many of the women that I’ve worked with.
Women are so often carrying long-held and deep-seated guilt from things that happened a long time ago.
So I want to give you a tip that can really help to let go of guilt that you’re holding on to that causes so much suffering.
Imagine that one of your very best friends comes to you and tells you that she is struggling and suffering because she cannot forgive herself for something that happened a long time ago. Imagine that it was to do with her parenting because this is a really common one – mother guilt.
Imagine that years ago she was doing the best she could but as a result of some mistakes that she made, she is blaming herself for some ways in which her child’s life has turned out. And she’s in so much pain and suffering, and she believes that she doesn’t deserve to be happy.
How would you respond to your friend? What would you think? What would you tell them?
Of course you wouldn’t say “You should have been perfect. You shouldn’t have made those mistakes. You deserve to be punished. You don’t deserve to be happy.” Instead, if you were really listening to your heart and being really compassionate and honest with her, you would say, “You were doing the best you could. It’s okay to let it go now. You’re not meant to be perfect. Nobody’s perfect.”
So why can’t you do this for yourself? Why do we have a skewed view when we’re thinking of our own selves and our own story?
It’s time to move on. It’s time to show compassion to yourself. Let it go.
Another thing, if you are feeling guilty for some way that you acted because you think that it’s your fault that something has turned out a certain way for another person, you are in their business. And every time we get in other people’s business, we suffer. So when you are holding on to this guilt, you’ve got to get out of their business and get back in your business.
We are not meant to have a challenge-free life. Sometimes we forget that it’s through the biggest challenges and the biggest struggles in life that we have our biggest growth. Let people have their journey. Step out of their business.
I struggled with guilt for many years over my parenting. But when really got it, I was able to accept that even my children need to have the challenges that they needed to have. And I cannot see the bigger picture, but I trust that the imperfect ways that I was being was all part of a bigger picture that I can’t see.
Trust that you can’t see the bigger picture. Everybody makes mistakes, it is part of what we’re meant to be as a human. We do the best we can for where we’re at. Get out of taking responsibility for other people’s journey and other people’s business.
Let it go and forgive yourself in the same way that you would if your best friend was standing in front of you saying that she was in so much pain because she couldn’t let go of guilt. And give that forgiveness and compassion to yourself.
Kelly x
I’d love to hear from you! Have you held on to guilt? Could it be time to let it go? Leave a comment below!
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Thank you. What a beautiful message to remember to be kind to ourselves ❤️ One of the hardest lessons in life I struggle with.
Stay on the path, gorgeous soul Emma! xx
Thanks so much Kelly. I’ve struggled with “what if I did or didn’t say/do this or that” since I lost my younger sister to suicide. This video has helped me enormously. thanks
Thank you so much. My kids are 34 & 29 yrs old having their own life & family.
Yet I find myself wondering “did I do I good job or could I’ve done better?
Thank you helping me stay in my business & let life unfold as it’s suppose to.
Thank you
Thank you so much Kelly. I learn so much from your words.
Thank you so much Kelly. I learn so much from your words.
Hi Kelly
I have just finished listening to you talk about ” how to let go of guilt ” I am nearly 60 years & for the better part of my life have always felt immense guilt for experiencing periods of anxiety & depression particularly having episodes when my children were growing up ……not being emotionally at times …they are 22 & 24 now ….I have apologised for those times but have always carried around a sense of guilt & shame for not being a ” good enough Mum ”
Listening to your words has made me realise I need to let this go & also forgive myself
Thankyou Kelly for helping me do this. ….
Warm Wishes A?
Thank you Kelly for a heart felt compassionate video. I love your depth and understanding of issues and your way of speaking about them in a down to earth natural way . I think forgiveness of ourselves is the hardest issue of all to come to terms with. Your way of explaining it gives me a path to follow. Thank you.
Thank you so much Kelly. I love getting your videos. I struggle with so much in life and everything you say makes sense.
The issue of forgiving ourselves is very hard. Thank you once again for helping me. I look forward to more of your videos.
Hi Kelly just resending comment as had missed something *
I have just finished listening to you talk about ” how to let go of guilt ” I am nearly 60 years & for the better part of my life have always felt immense guilt for experiencing periods of anxiety & depression particularly having episodes when my children were growing up ……not being emotionally *available at times …they are 22 & 24 now ….I have apologised for those times but have always carried around a sense of guilt & shame for not being a ” good enough Mum ”
Listening to your words has made me realise I need to let this go & also forgive myself
Thankyou Kelly for helping me do this. ….
Warm Wishes A?
Thank you Kelly, Lovely to listen to you.I know I did the best I could.Just have to keep reminding myself to get over it all.Love Jan
Thank you Kelly,Still trying hard.Love Jan
Thank you Kelly, completely agree what you saying ‘We do best we can/know for where we are at’ I too struggled /suffered till I got it and learned that we all have our own life lessons even our own children <3