How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Are you a people pleaser?

If you do a lot for others and put your own needs last, but often end up feeling taken advantage of, there’s a good chance you are.

Traditionally, people pleasing was typically believed to be what a “good woman” does.

But years of people pleasing can leave us lonely, resentful and with a lot of internal anger.

So why do we do it?

To avoid conflict.
To get love.
Believing that if we make others happy then we’ll be happy.
Low self-worth.
To keep busy so we can avoid internal reflection.

When we take so much responsibility for others, we neglect the responsibility we have to meet our own needs, and end up feeling very much out of alignment with our true selves.

It may not be easy changing this aspect of your identity, but the rewards are so worth it because you get to experience the true fulfilment of being authentically you and that is priceless!

The Solution

Get honest.
Are you willing to change your identity, from this old way of being?
Have courage. Change would takes courage and may feel uncomfortable at first. You need to be willing to let go of fear of what others will think.
Set boundaries.
Look deep within – take time to look at what makes you happy.

I’m not saying you should suddenly stop being kind or stop helping others all together.

When you learn to take care of our needs and let others do the same for themselves, you’ll be a happier more fulfilled person. The benefits will flow on to others around you and will be a much more genuine connection than one that’s based on doing things for others.

Are you willing to give it a go?

Sign up for my email updates & my free “Inner-Peace” E-Book & Video.


  1. Very very good thanks Kelly you’re a real ? gem

  2. Such a great video!
    Thank you ? Kelly

  3. This really came home to me
    Thank you Kelly ?

  4. This has been me all my life but have realised can’t do this anymore. 2020 new year new decade ? happy days?

  5. Thank you Kelly . I am certainly one of those.Will really have to take a hold of myself.

  6. Thanku so much ,this is so me ? I find it hard to say No ,but will definitely try making changes ,Thank you once again ??

  7. Thanku so much ,this is so me ? I find it hard to say No ,but will definitely try making changes ,Thank you once again ??

  8. Wow this describes me. Thank you ?

  9. I used to be for many many years as I wanted people’s approval after losing My dad at 5 1/2 then my Grandparents then my soulmate Mum when I was about 32.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Stay with the journey

You Are Not Your Thoughts

The realization that “you are not your thoughts” has truly transformed my life and can do the same for you. Many of us, including me, have been in that place where we felt like our thoughts were who we were, consumed by the never-ending stream of mental chatter. But...

read more

How Appreciation Connects You to the Present Moment

How often do you find yourself rushing through tasks and thoughts, disconnected from the present moment? In the whirlwind of your everyday life, it's easy to lose sight of the here and now.  But what if I told you there's a simple yet profound way to anchor yourself...

read more