2 Enlightening Things About Forgiveness You Might Not Know

I was recently working with someone who’d been badly abused over a long period of time and was still suffering emotionally.

She didn’t think he deserved her forgiveness. And she definitely didn’t want to have to go to him to say, “I forgive you.”

But she didn’t need to. And forgiving him, as I explained, was for her peace and freedom, not his. He didn’t even need to know she’d done it.

To forgive him would not be saying that what he did was ok. But she could acknowledge that he was acting from an unconscious, fear-based way of being.

Is there someone who’s hurt you that you’re refusing to forgive?

As the saying goes, holding on to anger is like holding a hot coal and expecting the other person to get burned.

Forgiving someone who’s hurt you is ALL about your inner peace and freedom.

You don’t even need to go to the other person about the matter. Forgiveness can be done in the privacy of your own mind and heart.

To forgive does not mean that what the person did to you was ok. It means you let go of what happened so that you can move on with peace.

If it still feels too hard to do, first practice bringing deep love and compassion to yourself around the matter.

Then, in the quiet privacy of your own mind and heart, visualise that person in front of you. Take some time to connect with the energy of your heart centre and the love within you. Then consciously send loving forgiveness to them. It can also be very helpful to imagine the tie between you being cut and you setting yourself free from the connection (with love).

I hope that you find this helpful. Forgiveness truly does bring freedom.

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14 Comments

  1. Thanku for your message,I definitely needed to hear this ???

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    • Very helpful but so hard to do. I’ve been hanging on to something for 10 years which I know is destructive and I will really try to forgive this bad behaviour and move on.

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    • Thank you Kelly so inspirational and so true was in this situation a long time ago but learnt to love myself and let it all go was an amazing feeling

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  2. Absolutely ? ? I have held on to anger in the past but realised does you No good, more harm than good. Saps all your energy. Better to forgive and move on with your life. Be happy and enjoy, positive thinking all the way ?

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  3. Thankyou Kelly, this is SO relevant to my situation at the moment, am loving the weekly links & cannot wait to be able to sign up for more. I need all the help I can as am going through a tough time. You are a saviour and the guidance I need.
    Cheers & love,
    Helen

    Reply
  4. Thank you Kelly for the great message.i will need to keep reminding myself about it. Love Jan

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  5. Thankyou Kelly,a good reminder to not hold unforegiveness . Yes there is freedom for both parties when we choose to forgive them.Health and happiness.

    Reply
  6. Thank you Kelly .
    I’ve been holding a hot coal for years and
    It has made me really physically and emotionally unwell.
    I truly understand what I need to do to set myself free.
    Thank you ?

    Reply
    • Oh Fiona, that awareness is such a big step. Good on you. Here’s to freedom!

      Reply
  7. Thank you for explaining this Kelly ??

    Reply
  8. What is the actual forgiveness practice /process please?

    Reply
    • Hi Sam, I suggest closing your eyes, set a clear intention about your desire to forgive a certain person/or yourself. Bring your attention to your heart centre and breathe into that space. Imagine that you are sending love and forgiveness to you (and also to the other person if applicable). Tell yourself (or the other person) whatever you want to say, with the utmost compassion and kindness. Staying connected to your heart centre and the present will help you to do this. You may feel that you need to do it a few times until you feel at peace with the situation. Another wonderful tool to combine with this is the Ho’oponopono technique (which you can look up). I hope this helps!

      Reply
  9. Hello Kelly, it’s almost 5 years since I was told by a phone call my marriage of 43 years was over. I have been on a roller coaster of severe depression & all the feelings of anger, hurt, blame & so many others. Of late I have felt as though I am finally moving on but this video helped me realise I have another step to undertake. Thank you for all your emails which I have always felt inspired.

    Reply
  10. I have been wrongly judged by someone and I know that what they think of me is none of my business but it still hurts that I have been wrongly accused for personal gain when all I wanted to do was to help them. I can forgive her for wrongly judging me and I chose to stop contact completely. I understand where she was coming from as I try to put myself in her shoes. Life goes on.

    Reply

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